This one time? I went on a date with a guy who was already kind of getting on my nerves, because anytime I said anything he couldn't help but posture, like a big stupid insecure, posturing, poop head! GAH!
But I went anyway, because I was once a stupid, stupid girl who thought that, even though her guts are telling her no, those guts could be wrong.
Note to self: Guts never wrong.
Poop head: Blah blah, football, blah blah.
Me: I don't really watch football... But I like rugby. And Aussie rules football.
Poop head: When I was in Australia a couple years ago, I played football with these Australian guys and they said I'm super! And I'm totally way better than them! And American football rules! But only when I am playing it, because I'm so fucking awesome!
Me: OH MY GOD! No Aussie would EVER say that! EVER!!!
Poop head: Well, they did!
Me: NO, THEY DIDN'T!
Poop head: They did!
Poop head: Yes! Didn't you hear when I said I was awesome?
Me: LIES! LIES ARE COMING OUT OF YOUR FACE! I HATE YOU!! GAH!
Let this be a lesson to you to not go on dates with guys who are already pissing you off, unless you really need to raise your blood pressure or stab someone with a fork. Consider yourself schooled! Boo-ya!