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How Not To Freak Out, Part II

Why are you asking me? I am a Freaking Out machine... I'm much more qualified to show you How To Freak Out. So, let's begin.

Step One: Blow everything out of proportion.

For example: Move a door 6 inches? Start crying.
It is also wise to react to things by getting your heart to race, your hands to shake, and more of that crying thing.

Step Two: Overanalyze everything for no good reason.

For example: If your boyfriend says, "I like cheese", you should think CHEESE?!? He likes CHEESE? But what about me? Doesn't he like me? What's wrong with me? Does he think I'm fat? Is he saying I should eat less cheese? OH MY GAWD! HE THINKS I'M FAT!

Step Three: Become a martyr.

Sleep a lot, eat a little, look gloomy, and most importantly, end all your conversations with "... Oh, but don't worry about me."

Step Four: Drink.

And how.

Step Five: Start "running" around the reservoir in the park every morning.

This may seem odd to add to a lesson on How To Freak Out, but trust me. There are very scary looking bushes around the reservoir, and you can go "GAAAAAAARRUGGH!" every time you approach one so you can startle the boogeymen, and you'll end up looking like a crazy person.

And looking crazy is the most important part of Freaking Out.

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Comments (7)

fran" show_email="0"$>$>:

Oh, but I always finish my conversations with "Oh, but don't worry about me."

Errol" show_email="0"$>$>:

Ooookay...is this a normal girl thing or is there some way we can feed you mellow pills?

Joelle" show_email="0"$>$>:

You are in desperate need of a vacation. *hint hint*

kernyen" show_email="0"$>$>:

Step three works well for calling in sick. . .

Sara" show_email="0"$>$>:

You forgot, "Stomp around and pout when Boy's phone is shut off, thus not receiving your several drunken "come have the sex with me" phone calls." Perform step four. Rinse and repeat.
:pineapple:

Milky" show_email="0"$>$>:

Ah so finally you look as crazy as you sound

Katherine" show_email="0"$>$>:

I had to make a few adjustments to your list. For starters, I moved step four to step one. Unfortunately, since I decided to start step one while writing this, I forgot what I was doing...

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on August 5, 2004 3:04 PM.

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