My Pretend California Boyfriend is the foreman on one of the projects at work, is a tall, big boned white boy and according to my sources is not fat. In his spare time he enjoys being sexually harassed by me.
And this one time? I was at work, and I got a call from this site? And the guy on the other end talked to me about a bunch of work stuff? And then I asked for a call back number, and he gave me his HOME number. HA HA!
But it was "by accident". Get it? "Accident".
And here are five things about My Pretend California Boyfriend (also known as "Satan"):
- Satan is 6'4", 37 years old, has brown hair, grew up in Northern California, drives a truck, and goes to the gym frequently.
- When referred to as "My Pretend California Boyfriend", my co-workers have been known to say, "Pretend? My ass!"
- No really. I'm just pretending he's my boyfriend. Honest! Even with all the giggling and the weird early morning/late evening phone calls... PRETEND!
- My Pretend California Boyfriend is really pushy! And while that is amusing in regular life, it is exasperating in work life.
- I once emailed a picture to My Pretend California Boyfriend of me picking my nose... Because it's the most flattering picture in the world!