Dickhead Ponch is my (almost) ex-husband. but way before he was that, he was my high-school sweetheart (awww).
And this one time? I was going to ride a bike to the store and he said, "Don't ride it". Something about it being too tall for me and having a flat tire. And I said, "Pft! You can't tell me what to do!" and took off down the street.
And then a cat ran in front of me and I freaked out and fell down. On a cactus. And then Ponch laughed. And then I gave him the stink eye and walked home and made him pull the thorns out of my ass.
Now here are 5 things about the Ponch:
- Yes. I married Ponch. Complete with the Erik Estrada bouffant hair. It is thick, and lustrous, and VERY Q-TIP LIKE IN APPEARANCE!
- When Ponch visited my neighborhood, he got hit on A LOT! By The Gays! Oh how I laughed and I laughed... because he is Homophobia Ponch.
- Ponch has a several siblings that I like a lot and a mother that I would like to poke with a fork. Or stab. Possibly with a knife.
- Ponch often smells like Rustoleum. But that's only when he doesn't smell like motor oil.
- My mother named her cat "Ponch", because like Ponch, he is very very pretty... But dumb.